In this modernized world most of relationships are initiated based on trend; not necessarily on understanding and pure love; hence the relationships don’t last long.
Andrea Mathews, who is a Licensed Professional Counselor states:
“Being in love does not guarantee that a relationship will work. Relationships require also compatibility and relationship skills on the part of both parties. But the “in love” requirement is a must. Relationships are not easy for they bring us to the deepest parts of ourselves. Therefore, being in love must be an aspect of any healthy long-term commitment and being sure that it is love, therefore, is an intensely important first step.”
And below is a saying by Meredith Hansen, Psy.D who is a clinical psychologist who is specialized in premarital and newly married counseling for couples:
“Healthy adult love exists when both partners are emotionally interdependent; meaning that both partners love one another, care for one another, desire physical closeness with one another, but respect each other enough to have their own identities as well.”
In order to maintain a lovely and healthy relationship both parties need to make effort and commitment.
Mudita Rastogi, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and family therapist in Arlington Heights, Ill, states:
“Your interests, opinions, and experiences can change as you grow. But if you share the same core belief systems, you will have a platform from which to build a strong relationship.”
Most importantly remember to respect each other and give the freedom to your partner:
“We are all multifaceted, complex creatures. Your partner will never be able to match all your needs and interests. It is OK to pursue some separate activities, either individually, or with friends, apart from your partner.”
And again, Meredith Hansen, Psy.D, states further:
“Knowing what you both want out of life and working together to make those dreams a reality will strengthen the bond in your marriage. “
Mark E. Sharp, Ph.D., a psychologist specialized in issues of relationship states:
“Long lasting true love is when two people make a commitment to each other and choose to act in ways that sustain their feelings for each other and their connection to each other over time.”
The story below is about a strong love that existed for 7 decades which will inspire you and even bring tears:
Preble Staver (born on 17th October 1921) and Isabell Whitney (born on 31st October 1921) could be introduced as the couple of the story.
They knew that they were made for each other since their first meeting; when they met on a blind date while studying in Philadelphia.
They got engaged when United States entered the Second World War because Preble had to work as a Marine and Isabell had to work as a Navy nurse in Maryland. Preble even received a Bronze star for his service.
5 months after the declaration of the end of the war; the couple married in 15th February 1946.
They had an amazing life filled with understanding, commitment, love and they handled difficulties together. Preble was working as a lobbyist and banker which made them move to multiple places around U.S. places, including Virginia, Florida, and South Carolina.
63 year old Laurie Staver Clinton is one from their 5 children; She says that, Preble was “a tall, outgoing man with a strong, ‘larger than life’ personality” and Isabell was “[her] heart” and someone who “taught [her] how to be a kind person, how to be a compassionate person.”
A catastrophic incident happened to them in 1975 when their son, Peter died in his last football game in college.
“At that point, we began to really see a softer side of my dad. Parents aren’t supposed to bury their kids and that really took a toll on my folks, but it also brought them together. Something like that can either tear a couple apart, but they made a pact to get through it together. They really were each other’s support team.”
Challenges didn’t end for them thereafter. In 2013, Isabell started showing dementia signs. Hence they moved in to a long-term care facility in Norfolk, Virginia where the couple stayed together but had to sleep in two separate rooms. The time was especially difficult for Preble because he had to witness his love being affected by a disease.
Laurie states further:
“They just found another way to express their love. Dad, even after he stopped walking and was in a wheelchair, he would wheel himself down to the Memory Care Unit and go visit mom. When I would reunite them, they always, the first thing they’d do was put their hands out and hold each other’s hand and tell each other they loved each other.”
The couple was lucky to have their one last nap together with the staff support as a result of the last wish of Preble on his 96th birthday.“There was not a single word spoken between the two of them. They held hands and just fell asleep.”
After number of days on 25th October 2017 Isabell closed her eyes forever and her husband managed to say goodbye to the love of his life. And he died after 14 hours of Isabell’s death.
That was the end of an amazing life of 71 years that they lived together. Even after they are gone; their love is still cherished and reminded by all the people who were lucky enough to meet them In their lifetimes.
Laurie put it in a nutshell:
“Mom and dad really lived out that, if you make a commitment, and even though life gets rough or life gets in the way, you work through life. And you live your life together.”